Emotion and Perception

This was not an easy blog to write. I wrote it to help me deal with an issue that is very personal to me. It was a stretch that I decided to blog about it at all.

Perception has several definitions. For the purposes of this blog, it means how one person sees events in their life from their own viewpoint. It has been said that everyone experiences life in a unique way, so every person would have a different perspective or perception about any given event. These perceptions are affected by emotions or aspects of one's personality, both positive and negative, and may alter them or sometimes be the cause of a perception. For the most part, my perspective on events has been formed with the input of those two factors to the point that they seem almost inseparable.

In the past, I've learned that this is often not a good thing. Most of my biggest mistakes were made because my emotions were involved. The more I think about it, I could have potentially made a lot more if I had openly expressed my initial opinion about a person or situation instead of silencing my emotions and waiting to see what happens. It's not a simple task, but I am working on a "pause button" to allow me to calmly stop and evaluate new things in my life before passing immediate judgment on them.

Emotion and perception have also had an effect on me in other ways. As with everyone else, my personality is a mixture of both good and bad traits. I believe these traits have been formed with the influence of my emotions. Despite my strengths, my flaws are that I can be a fearful, jealous, selfish, demanding, and resentful person. I realize that these are my problems particularly regarding my relationships with those closest to me. This is probably why my close friends can be counted on less than one hand. Those negative traits have also contributed to me being in a kind of antisocial bubble, which also doesn't help make friends. I tend to keep to myself for that is where I feel safest.

About a year ago, I met someone who pulled me out of my comfort zone. Meeting him has changed my life and the experience has taught me to be more open with someone else and trust that person without being afraid. He has since become my best friend and having him for support reminds me of how necessary friendships are. That's not to say that learning to trust him was easy at first, in fact, sometimes it still can be difficult, but that trust has never once been broken and every time afterward I have felt ashamed for my doubt.

I have decided. This next school year I am going to start a serious effort to make new friends, but at the same time strengthen instead of neglect the friendships I already have. If a fresh start was possible, I would choose it. Since that can't happen, I would appreciate it if the people I already know give me a chance.