More Than Half

I am turning over a new leaf. I want to do my best to maintain an upbeat attitude toward my disorder. Hopefully, this will be the last blog I write that relates to it. Can I commit to that? Again, I'm trying to be positive.

Right now, I am still figuring out where I stand when it comes to my Cerebral Palsy. Literally half of me has it, the other half doesn't. Up until very recently, I wanted to feel what it's like to be completely normal. Since only half of my body is affected, I already "half know" what that is like. That's the best I will get. I have openly admitted I have it, and it is luckily a very mild case. But it won't change, so why dwell on it anymore? That is something much easier said than done, so I often have to remind myself of that fact to keep from being jealous and resentful. I'm far from perfect, but I try...

No one wants Cerebral Palsy. Honestly, who would? I think if everyone was given a choice, CP would not exist. I'm proud of the fact that very few people knew I had CP before I told them, and the only people who did were the ones who knew exactly what to look for. I believe that the fact that I have such a mild case is a sign that God has a plan for me. So, I want to take advantage of this opportunity that I have. I am determined to be able to do everything a normal person can. That's why I am committed to working out. It challenges CP's effect on me.

Given that this is the last time I plan to talk in this blog about Cerebral Palsy, I must take this opportunity to get everything off my mind. So, I am giving the CP volunteer organization-that-must-not-be-named an opportunity to know what I think about them. Back when I was interested in helping with the group, I got a sheet of paper with my application which listed the not politically correct ways of referring to people with Cerebral Palsy. At the top of the page, it said that the ___________ Cerebral Palsy did not want to degrade the people they help. They then began a long list of "no-no" words, including the word VICTIM. I don't understand what the organization was trying to say. Isn't that indirectly acknowledging that the people with CP are still victims if it still matters to them whether or not that word is used? Besides, if normal people did not think people with CP were victims, I don't think there would be a volunteer group to help people with the disorder in the first place. I know the organization means to help people with CP, but they were contradicting themselves. On top of that, because I have the disorder, I won't be told how to talk about myself by other people who might not even have CP. Like with my CP Facebook group, I think awareness of the disorder and the way it affects people is important, but how someone can talk should be common sense, instead of being enforced by an organization like ___________ Cerebral Palsy. That was ultimately why I chose not to help them.

I feel like I have said all I need to say. Having this as my last blog about my Cerebral Palsy is a major step in the right direction. I'm going to keep consistently working out and fight through that annoyance that is my CP. I love the satisfaction of being able to show my disorder who's boss during my workouts, and along the way making the progress that I want. It will never hold me back again.